So last night i finally broke down..

like emotionally..

since i have been back from cali, i havent been my upbeat self & it had fucked shit up with Linden. Hes been so frustrated because i have been so unhappy & stuff. We had argued so much. So finally on the way to taking him to work i broke down.

i admitted to him i wasnt all there because of all that has happened this past month & i have had to cope with it alone. i told him the truth & how i had been feeling, lonely. i know i have him, but because he works nights & i work days, we never get any time together. so every night since i have been back, i have been home alone, with my thoughts.

..& if i wasnt crazy already, my thoughts make me crazy. plus the stress that i feel from work doesnt help me in my situation at all.

..i’ve had to try & deal with everything by myself. Linden is all i have out here. i dont have ANY family. so obviously when he goes to work at nights i feel lonely & i dont know how else to cope when hes around but feel angry about it..

..so he got kirk to cover his shift last night [& i thank kirk so much for it] & i think they will be switching shifts..

..im so greatful for Linden tho. hes made so much of an effort to be there for me, but i had closed him out because all i could feel was the loneliness..

i think the sun will start shinin on my smile again. Linden says hes missed my smiles. <3